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Spiritual Puns

Spiritual Puns

Since the last entry was so serious I thought it would be fun to lighten up with these enlightening puns I created! They are written from the perspective of a student of the ascended masters and designed to make you and your kids smile! So, without further ado

How do ascended masters pay for their shopping? With a Mastercard!

What do the ascended masters call the highly intelligent leader in their councils? The Mastermind!

What do they use to open their door? A Master key!

And where do they sleep? In the Master bedroom of course. (Of course, I doubt Ascended Masters require sleep like we do. 😉)

Why didn’t the Buddha cross the road? He was already one with everything!

What did one ascended master say to another ascended master? Nothing – they could already read each other’s thoughts!

Why is the letter "I" always happy? Because he’s always in the middle of bliss and happiness!

Which reward system is popular among the angels? Frequent Flier Points.

Why was God the first magician? He made something appear out of nothing.

Why did the cobbler want to mend shoes? He wanted to heel the sole (heal the soul).

Why did the proud man cut holes in his clothes? He wanted to appear holey (holy).

Why did the doctor ask God to send him more clients? He wanted to grow in patients (patience).

Where does an elf go when he needs some help? To an elf-help course!

Which flower has a spiritual practice? Sunflowers. All day long they do sungazing! (Fun fact: that’s called sun/surya yoga.)

Which prayers are most like flowers? The rosary.

Which ascended master is always seeking to have more in life? Morya.

Which ascended master is not too Yang? Kuan Yin (Yin and Yang are spiritual opposites in the Taoist spiritual tradition.)

Which ascended master sells blinds? Paul the Venetian (Venetian blinds are a type of window covering.)

Which ascended master owns his own bay? Serapis Bey.


Knock Knock

Who’s there?



I AM WHO I AM! (one translation of God’s name, given to Moses)


And now a few from my 10 year old son Michael,

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Us who?

Uscended (ascended) masters are everywhere; we just need to call them.


Who is the most generous master? Lanello – he’s the ever-present guru.

Which Elohim likes to wear hats? Cap-ella!

Which branch of angels likes St. Louis, Missouri? Arch-angels!

Who is in charge of all of the elves? elf-a (Alpha)!

Who is the happiest master? Laugh-a-lot.

Which master always wants to have fun? Fun Wey.


Hope you enjoyed this little offering from our hearts.


Do you have a spiritual joke or pun you’d like to share?




  • Here's another from the author (don't want to edit it in case I send out a new email to everyone on the list!):What song do solar garden lights sing at night? "This solar light of mine, I'm going to let it shine....!" (In case you didn't get the pun, The Hearts Center has tweaked "this little light" to "this solar light," in remembrance of one of the many favorite references to God within. ;)
    9/30/2022 10:32:11 PM
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Click on title below to read Pamela’s information-packed article with book lists, resources, and myriad ways to introduce spirituality to your toddler!

"Everyday Spirituality for Families and Children" by Pamela Gembica

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