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Last Post 06/17/2019 7:45 AM by  Dee Stewart
New Age Jokes 2
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Dee Stewart
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06/17/2019 7:45 AM
    I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last lifetime, either.


    Changing Times
    Scene: A New Age Vegetarian Café


    Waitress: "Would you like milk with that?"

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh my goodness! No one drinks cow's milk anymore! Do you have any soy milk?"

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like soy milk with that?"

    Cheerful New age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks soy milk anymore! Do you have almond milk?

    Waitress sniffs some cedar oil from a small vial to reduce stress.

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like almond milk with that?"

    Cheerful New age customer: Oh my goodness, no one drinks almond milk anymore! Do you have rice milk?

    Waitress takes some valerian root tincture to reduce stress.

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like rice milk with that?"

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks rice milk anymore! Do You have cashew milk?"

    Waitress takes some Ashwagandha root tincture to reduce stress.

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like cashew milk with that?"

    New Age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks cashew milk anymore! Do You have hemp milk?"

    Waitress pleasantly replies: "Yes, I am pleased to say that we now have hemp milk. Would you like a glass?"

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Is it organic?"

    Waitress happily replies: "Yes it is."

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh, I'm cleansing today. Is it Ayurvedic?"

    Waitress passes out.

    Sign in restaurant:

    Please pray for our waitress Susie who is gradually recovering from a severe stress disorder. She is delirious and keeps mumbling something about milk. This is a very serious. We are waving burning sage around her, but she doesn't seem to be responding. Please place a crystal on your altar, light a candle for her, visualize her as perfectly healthy, and affirm her perfect clarity of mind. Thanks!

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