I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last lifetime, either.


Changing Times
Scene: A New Age Vegetarian Café


Waitress: "Would you like milk with that?"

Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh my goodness! No one drinks cow's milk anymore! Do you have any soy milk?"

One week later:

Waitress: "Would you like soy milk with that?"

Cheerful New age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks soy milk anymore! Do you have almond milk?

Waitress sniffs some cedar oil from a small vial to reduce stress.

One week later:

Waitress: "Would you like almond milk with that?"

Cheerful New age customer: Oh my goodness, no one drinks almond milk anymore! Do you have rice milk?

Waitress takes some valerian root tincture to reduce stress.

One week later:

Waitress: "Would you like rice milk with that?"

Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks rice milk anymore! Do You have cashew milk?"

Waitress takes some Ashwagandha root tincture to reduce stress.

One week later:

Waitress: "Would you like cashew milk with that?"

New Age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks cashew milk anymore! Do You have hemp milk?"

Waitress pleasantly replies: "Yes, I am pleased to say that we now have hemp milk. Would you like a glass?"

Cheerful New Age customer: "Is it organic?"

Waitress happily replies: "Yes it is."

Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh, I'm cleansing today. Is it Ayurvedic?"

Waitress passes out.

Sign in restaurant:

Please pray for our waitress Susie who is gradually recovering from a severe stress disorder. She is delirious and keeps mumbling something about milk. This is a very serious. We are waving burning sage around her, but she doesn't seem to be responding. Please place a crystal on your altar, light a candle for her, visualize her as perfectly healthy, and affirm her perfect clarity of mind. Thanks!