You're viewing the archived Hearts Center Forum.

You won't be able to post, but you can still view old topics. If you want to post on our new forums you can do so here.


Hearts Center Forums

PrevPrev Go to previous topic
NextNext Go to next topic
Last Post 06/17/2019 7:45 AM by  Dee Stewart
New Age Jokes 2
 0 Replies
Sort:
You are not authorized to post a reply.
Author Messages
Dee Stewart
Member
Member
Posts:1715


--
06/17/2019 7:45 AM
    I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last lifetime, either.


    Changing Times
    Scene: A New Age Vegetarian Café


    Waitress: "Would you like milk with that?"

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh my goodness! No one drinks cow's milk anymore! Do you have any soy milk?"

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like soy milk with that?"

    Cheerful New age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks soy milk anymore! Do you have almond milk?

    Waitress sniffs some cedar oil from a small vial to reduce stress.

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like almond milk with that?"

    Cheerful New age customer: Oh my goodness, no one drinks almond milk anymore! Do you have rice milk?

    Waitress takes some valerian root tincture to reduce stress.

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like rice milk with that?"

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks rice milk anymore! Do You have cashew milk?"

    Waitress takes some Ashwagandha root tincture to reduce stress.

    One week later:

    Waitress: "Would you like cashew milk with that?"

    New Age customer: "Oh my goodness, no one drinks cashew milk anymore! Do You have hemp milk?"

    Waitress pleasantly replies: "Yes, I am pleased to say that we now have hemp milk. Would you like a glass?"

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Is it organic?"

    Waitress happily replies: "Yes it is."

    Cheerful New Age customer: "Oh, I'm cleansing today. Is it Ayurvedic?"

    Waitress passes out.

    Sign in restaurant:

    Please pray for our waitress Susie who is gradually recovering from a severe stress disorder. She is delirious and keeps mumbling something about milk. This is a very serious. We are waving burning sage around her, but she doesn't seem to be responding. Please place a crystal on your altar, light a candle for her, visualize her as perfectly healthy, and affirm her perfect clarity of mind. Thanks!

    You are not authorized to post a reply.