My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he just touched up the x-rays. by Joey Bishop.
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out; but I can usually sedate him with 4 or 5 cupcakes. by Bob Thaves
I have an aunt who married so late in life that Medicare picked up 80 percent of the honeymoon. by Henny Youngman
If you look like your passport photo, you are too ill to travel! by Will Kommen
"Things have been going wrong for a very long time! It is time to fix the Congress; it is obvious they will never learn and we can't afford to keep them working!! The budget should be balanced, the treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled and assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must learn to work insteaed of living on public assistance." Cicero 55 B.C.